


Exchanging Edelweiss for Tulips

by TheGrammarHawk



Series: Hawk's Ferdibert Week 2019 [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Asphyxiation, Blood, Death is mentioned a lot, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ferdibert Week 2019, Ferdinand von Aegir & Dorothea Arnault are Best Friends, Getting Together, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, Language of Flowers, Multi, Mutual Pining, Post-Time Skip, Swearing, how could i of all people forget to tag hurt comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21626773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGrammarHawk/pseuds/TheGrammarHawk
Summary: Hanahaki. It was a fairly uncommon disease in Fódlan, one he only familiarized himself with in case Edelgard would ever be afflicted with it. Another less than ideal circumstance brought about by crests, history told that those blessed by the goddess could be susceptible to the disease as if the goddess was trying to give them some sort of sign. Petra and Shamir both had never heard of the illness, confirming it to be a burden among only those with crests.or,Someone has hanahaki, and Hubert is determined to figure out who.Ferdibert Week 2019 Day 1:Hanahaki/Tea Time/Fairy Tales
Relationships: Caspar von Bergliez/Linhardt von Hevring, Dorothea Arnault/Bernadetta von Varley, Dorothea Arnault/Petra Macneary, Dorothea Arnault/Petra Macneary/Bernadetta von Varley, Edelgard von Hresvelg & Hubert von Vestra, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Ferdinand von Aegir & Dorothea Arnault, Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Petra Macneary/Bernadetta von Varley
Series: Hawk's Ferdibert Week 2019 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558714
Comments: 10
Kudos: 329
Collections: Ferdibert Ship Week 2019





	Exchanging Edelweiss for Tulips

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Ferdibert week! I'm planning to do every day, but idk if I'll be on time bc school is Deadly rn.  
> Honestly I'm not,,, super in love with this story? rip,, tomorrow will be better, imo!!! i really enjoyed it, though, and i look forward to reading everyone's stories!

Ferdinand von Aegir was a truly insufferable man. Loud, ambitious, reckless, spoiled – Hubert had never been able to stand him, not in childhood, not at the academy, not now.

Yet Ferdinand was kind. He never failed to put the needs of others before himself, would be certain to throw himself in front of a foe if it meant protecting one of his men. Not to mention his _relentless_ optimism, the way he held his chin up and smiled, bright like the sun, throughout these long years of war, even with the power of the Aegir name stripped, even with his father under house arrest, even with blood tangled in his hair and dripping off of his chin.

It was nauseating. Frustrating. _Intoxicating_.

And Hubert hated it.

Most of all, he hated how attached he had become to the noble.

Hubert wasn’t stupid. He understood quite well how he truly felt about Ferdinand, especially with examples constantly around him. Caspar and Linhardt had been dating for at least a couple years, now, and something inside Hubert burned when he realized that the way Ferdinand would glance at him seemed similar enough to the gazes Caspar would give Linhardt. To the ways that Dorothea would look at Petra, and more recently Bernadetta, reluctant to let them leave her sight for too long when it came to the rare moments of quiet they had.

It was the way Edelgard looked to the moon in the sky, desperate and longing for their professor to return to them.

They could all have their longings, their companionship. There was simply no way Hubert could let himself fall to such a level, there was no reason to fool himself, not when every time he merely saw the von Aegir these days the man seemed to blind him with his light.

There was no use in attempting to reach for the sun when he could not even crawl out of the darkest abyss.

***

It had all started so suddenly. A joyous dinner in celebration of their professor’s return was the beginning of the whole disaster, there was no doubt. Hubert remembered the night well enough; Linhardt dozing off on Caspar’s shoulder, Petra clapping at one of Dorothea’s stories while Bernadetta timidly nodded along, Edelgard making bright conversation with Byleth as the man attempted to explain his absence. Ferdinand had distracted Hubert immensely from watching over his lady and her meek flirtations, his cheeks pink with warmth and some spared drink, hair haphazardly braided and thrown over his shoulder as he continuously interrupted Dorothea’s story with anecdotes of his own. Everything was going well.

Until Hubert was the last of them remaining, dutifully observing as the mess left behind was cleaned. He pitched in as well, assuring Edelgard that the dining hall would be pristine in the morning, but he had never considered what such a task would result in.

Residing oh so innocently in the area that he and his former classmates had sat in was a single petal, thin and white in color – except for the bright red tinge that traced one of its edges.

He recognized it, of course. Byleth was very fond of flowers, as it was, so most of the class had picked up on the varying flowers grown in and near the monastery. This flower in particular had to be edelweiss, which was indeed common around the monastery and Oghma mountains.

Except for the fact that it was winter, and the flower had stopped blooming months ago.

Not to mention the blood.

It was with a scowl that Hubert crushed the little thing in his gloved hand, frown persisting even as he left the hall. He didn’t need to be a healer to know what this meant.

Hanahaki. It was a fairly uncommon disease in Fódlan, one he only familiarized himself with in case Edelgard would ever be afflicted with it. Another less than ideal circumstance brought about by crests, history told that those blessed by the goddess could be susceptible to the disease as if the goddess was trying to give them some sort of sign. Petra and Shamir both had never heard of the illness, confirming it to be a burden among only those with crests.

At least this meant it would be easy to narrow down the victim. Those with more than one crest or even a major crest would most likely be the ones suffering, putting Edelgard in a precarious situation. So far as Hubert was concerned, there were seven members of the strike force that could be candidates of the disease.

Hubert would not allow any of them to die on his watch.

***

Hubert couldn’t recall anyone coughing more than another at dinner. Smoke from the ruined monastery, the cold air, and battle cries all mixed together to provide sore throats. Even he was susceptible to awkward throat clearing behind his fist, and he certainly wasn’t one of the more avid talkers.

His first and most immediate concern, as always, was Edelgard. It wasn’t too hard to locate her, the professor ever-present at her side, his eerie green eyes fixing Hubert with a look that the imperial minister still could not begin to comprehend.

“Yes, Hubert? What is it? I presume that everything is accounted for? Enough rations left available to make the monastery our new base?” Edelgard was tired, but her voice was open, a bit more relaxed than it had been in the past couple years; this likely was due to the man that had returned to her side.

“A moment of your time, your Majesty. In private.”

“Hubert, I’m certain whatever it is on your mind can be shared with Byleth, as well,” she returned, giving a short nod that the professor mirrored, “even if it considers _them_ , it is high time we expose all that we know, if we wish to truly end this war.”

So be it. If, in fact, Edelgard _was_ the victim of the disease, perhaps exposing her _own_ secrets would allow her to recover more swiftly.

“I have reason to suspect that a member of the strike force has… fallen ill,” he began, continuing when no response came, “during the clean up from tonight’s supper, I found… remnants of edelweiss. A bloodied petal, in particular.”

 _That_ caught their attention. Edelgard straightened, lilac eyes growing sharp as she next spoke, “Hubert, are you stating that – are you _certain_? Perhaps it could have blown in…”

“It was edelweiss, my lady.”

“Edelweiss is out of season, El.” Byleth softly added, his eyes narrowing at the implications. In return, Hubert’s eyes momentarily widened, unused to hearing anyone address Edelgard in such a way in… quite some time.

The emperor seemed disheartened by the confirmation, lips drawn to a small frown as she crossed her arms, “That means… Linhardt is already in a relationship, unless it’s turned sour without my notice, or if he’s become enamored with someone new… Jeritza has never shown any interest in romance, and I haven’t a clue one way or the other if Professor Hanneman is in such a situation; besides, they were hardly near at dinner, unless they came through afterwards. I haven’t a clue in regard to Ferdinand’s love life, I would have assumed that if he was interested in someone he would have shouted it from the rooftops, or Dorothea would have informed everyone by now. The only other member of our army with the ability to fall ill from hanahaki would be…”

“Bernadetta,” Byleth frowned minutely, giving a small shake of his head in displeasure.

“Indeed. Now, I must admit, I have noticed her growing quite close to Dorothea and Petra as of late… if it’s for one of them, or both, somehow… if it’s truly her that’s ill, I fear that she may not have the confidence to confess without intervention.

“Byleth, you know flowers best,” she added, turning to face him, “I trust that you will ask the greenhouse keeper about whether or not any edelweiss is blooming in the plots you don’t tend. We ought not meddle unless the situation grows dire, of course. I’ll inquire whether Professor Manuela is practiced in the surgery, just in case. Thank you, Hubert, for bringing this to my attention.”

With her tone of dismissal, Hubert bent at the waist, turning afterward to retire to his room, perhaps have some spies observe his companions. By the time he reached the door, Hubert remembered that not _all_ possibilities had been addressed, causing him to glance back in case he might question his liege-

And quickly, he went back on his way out, not needing any further clarification. The sight of her hand clasped in their professor’s was enough to alleviate that concern.

***

Hubert’s attempts at personal interrogation did not go as planned.

When he brought the subject up to Linhardt, it turned out that Edelgard already had, due to his crest knowledge. The healer had barely spared Hubert a look of amusement when Hubert admitted that he wanted to be certain it was not Linhardt himself suffering from it, which had gotten him a pointed stare and reply along the lines of _even if I was not with Caspar currently, the whole concept of hanahaki is far too much work, I can’t seriously believe that I would fall to it._

Bernadetta’s conversation had been _worse_. When he had gone by her room the next morning, he had not expected to see someone already at her door. Ferdinand, already put together and speaking amicably with the archer, caused a small pinch of pain to pierce Hubert’s chest.

His smile with her was so easy, and she was remarkably less timid to Ferdinand than she was to Hubert himself. They were both tinted pink along their cheeks, earnest in their words, it seemed.

Hubert was not so much a fool to completely ignore his own feelings, at this point. He knew this was jealousy, he had grown in the war as well, even if he did not wish to admit the emotions aloud to anyone else just yet.

Yet sometimes it felt as though those emotions were his master instead of Edelgard. With the smallest bit of envy spurring him, Hubert did not hesitate to make his presence known, striding up to them both with an icy “A moment of your time, Bernadetta, I wish to inquire upon the state of your romantic life.”

The result had been immediate: Ferdinand had reeled back, several emotions fluttering across his face before he awkwardly coughed into his fist, excusing himself from the conversation. Bernadetta herself choked slightly, all the color of her face draining in an instant before she attempted to retreat into her room. Long since used to her escapes, it had been all too easy for Hubert to grab her door before it closed.

Being flustered and tripping over her words had been expected, but the vehement anger that laced under the archer’s quiet tone was surprising, to Hubert. It wasn’t nice to spring such a question on people, especially in front of others, she had scolded, what if Ferdinand got the idea that he was interested in her? What if he then went and spread such a rumor and any actual prospects she had would be dashed for it, _no_ one would be stupid enough to try anything on the person of _Hubert’s_ affections, after all!

It had taken several minutes to calm Bernadetta down long enough for him to explain the hanahaki situation. It took far longer to get a proper answer out of her.

Yes, she was quite enamored with Dorothea and Petra both. No, she did _not_ have hanahaki for either of them, would you _please_ leave her alone now, she had to water her plants.

Disappointing and worrisome. She had been his best lead aside from Edelgard, and now both of those trails had gone cold. It wasn’t as though he truly wished to start prying into the lives of Jeritza or Hanneman.

At least he was to have his usual teatime with Ferdinand, later. That would get his mind off the whole debacle.

***

This was stupid. He shouldn’t be going along with this, and yet… and _yet_ , despite it all, despite the burning, the blood, the feeling of thoron racing up his throat, piercing his chest from where it was cast, it was worth it. Love was always worth it.

It had to be. That was one of his ideals. Love would always conquer, despite the pain.

As it was, cowards were hardly victorious.

***

Hubert was the imperial spymaster for many a reason, but at the very least he prided himself on his observational skills. Despite the warmth of the hall they currently resided in, Ferdinand’s hands were shaking. Even past that, the man was drinking chamomile. Hubert had endeavored in learning Ferdinand’s tastes long enough to know that was out of the ordinary – a detail he had originally noted years ago, despite the fact that then it had been for uses he would not now currently consider. Ferdinand only ever drank chamomile when unwell, and it was enough of a sign for Hubert to write him out of any upcoming battle, whether Ferdinand liked it or not. For the sake of the empire, of course.

Certainly not because the last time Ferdinand had been allowed to fight when ill the man had almost collapsed a lung as a byproduct of his carelessness and overexertion.

“You’re being awfully quiet, for once in your life. I can only imagine you’ve been hexed to achieve such a peaceful result.”

“My apologies,” Ferdinand replied, his bright eyes looking at the tea in his hand, anywhere that was far from Hubert’s own face. He gave a smile, too, though it was far smaller than usual, tired and lackluster. “I suppose I’ve been worn out by all of the recent celebration. It is nice to have the professor back, after all this time.”

With only the _slightest_ of petulance, Hubert gave a soft jab of his foot against Ferdinand’s ankle. That startled the other man into attention a bit more, at least, for what Hubert had to say next.

“A member of the strike force has hanahaki. Lady Edelgard and I are currently attempting to deduce who the victim is.”

“Is that so?” The smile widened but became more strained than before. It appeared it was time to avoid each other’s gazes again.

“Personally, I believe it ridiculous that such an illness exists,” Hubert folded his arms, coffee long since gone, “what sort of _gift_ from the goddess is it that kills so ruthlessly? If anything, it is simply a way to weed out the weak among those who harbor her crests. A price, if you will. Whatever meager power crests offer can only go to those who aren’t fools. The weak of mind, the weak of heart, only the most helpless and infantile of creatures could possibly fall ill to _emotion_. It’s pathetic.”

“I cannot be surprised that is how you would feel,” Ferdinand winced, dipping his head slightly under Hubert’s piercing topaz stare. He shook his head to himself lightly, a wistful look upon his face. “Growing up I always believed it to be such a tragic and romantic thing. To love another so much that your body can hardly withstand the force of the feeling… that something so pure could put a stop to the general arranged marriages of nobles for the power of blood alone, if the heir loves another so much that their very life is threatened.

“My father nearly smacked me when I shared my thoughts on it as a child. Said that it was not ever to be the heir’s choice, not when the Aegir family was involved. No, he had made it quite clear that surgery to remove the flowers was the only correct option: you keep the heir and the marriage for power becomes more solid without some fairytale romance in the way. He went on to attempt to secure an engagement for me the next week, though it fell through. He informed me not to love.”

“Your father has been under house arrest for five years. You do not seem the type to stifle feelings in such a way.”

Tucking a long strand of orange behind his ear, Ferdinand gave a real smile, despite the hitch to his voice. “I never said that I followed through on his orders. We both know that I’m not the type to simply do as I’m told!”

He faltered on the last word, a small spasm across his chest the only clue Hubert had before Ferdinand turned to the side and coughed into his fist. It was wretched to hear, yet almost worse to watch; Hubert despised the pain that drew Ferdinand’s sharp brows together, the way that red quickly speckled along his hand to match his eyes and hair.

By now it was no surprise at all to Hubert that a small flurry of white petals escaped alongside the blood.

Now would be the proper time for a vaguely irritated quip, certainly. Instead, Hubert stood, circling the table and resting a hand against the broad muscles that made up Ferdinand’s back.

He remained silent even when the bout passed, absently braiding Ferdinand’s hair back as the younger man attempted to catch his breath. Hubert closed his eyes against Ferdinand’s next attempt to smile at him, not wishing to see the bloodied teeth he knew would await him.

“My father would, would throw a fit if he knew, don’t you think so? I can only imagine the look on his face…”

Exhaling through his nose, Hubert stepped away, returning to his seat. “You’re not even attempting to deny it.”

“Edelgard figured it out,” Ferdinand admitted, taking another greedy sip of chamomile. “As it is, you… hardly seem surprised.”

“You’re the only person foolish enough to sit around and allow it to progress without taking some sort of action!” Hubert snapped, tone overwhelmingly bitter, “You’re the only dunce that is even capable of _feeling_ so much. I’ve never come across another person who has ever had the disease, for good _reason_. We are in the middle of a _war_.”

Ferdinand seemed to deflate with Hubert’s words, however slight, his still-bloodied fingertips hovering over the rim of the teacup. “I cannot help the way I feel, Hubert.”

The words were enough to drive Hubert _mad_. So soft and vulnerable in a way Ferdinand so rarely was, compared to the loud and boisterously proud front he gave at all times. Hubert hated the way he still smiled, the way his hands shook, the way his eyes rested below Hubert’s chin and not at his face, all weak and bashful when Ferdinand was supposed to be strong and open.

The frustration coiled in Hubert’s belly like a poison, searing his insides and letting vile words coat his tongue in the same defense he always put up first. “And here I had allowed myself to dare dream that you had matured after all this time, Aegir. Get _over_ it. The love of one man is not important! Not when it is faced with death every damned _day_. You are one of her Majesty’s most prized generals, essential to the front-lines. Either continue on as your pompous self and lavish your affections on the victim or schedule the surgery – there is no time to _waste_ , and I’m surprised someone as impatient and reckless as you has already dallied so _long_. It seems five years haven’t done much of anything to better you; with behavior like this… you’ll continue to be the biggest fool the strike force can boast until your ever-approaching demise.”

The cup clattered as it was set down harshly by its holder, hand retracting back to Ferdinand’s mouth briefly as he appeared to struggle to keep petals inside. After a hard-won battle, he stood, grin tight and eyes dead, only a hint of a wheeze accompanying his words.

“My apologies, Hubert. I had assumed that perhaps you had changed, these years, as well. I shall take my leave… and I will reflect upon my mistakes, I assure you.”

Hubert watched with narrow eyes as the redhead retreated, gait not entirely steady as he went. He did not move even when he heard the sound of rough, painful coughing, not when he was still furious and liable to make things even worse. Edelgard would surely have choice words for him later, but at least they had figured out _who_ was suffering from hanahaki.

The thought of amending his words, which had so clearly upset Ferdinand, hardly crossed his mind until Hubert finally got up himself to clean up and retire to his own room. It was then, after all, that the byproduct of Ferdinand’s fit caught his eye.

Stepped on and kicked away to be closer to the bushes lining the walkway, petals crumpled and almost dyed pink from blood, was an entire edelweiss blossom.

***

The scratching of a quill on paper was halted briefly by the door to Hubert’s dorm opening, only held back from slamming into the wall by the hand on its handle. He did not have to look up to know it was Edelgard, he knew the feel of her gaze anywhere, and he prepared himself for the words to follow.

“I heard from Caspar that you tried to throw a wrench in his and Linhardt’s relationship, asking if Linhardt was sick. Not to mention what I’ve been told by Dorothea. I explicitly _told_ you not to go and meddle, Hubert. I had assumed at the very least if you disobeyed my orders it would be in a stealthy manner. To interrogate Bernadetta on her personal affairs?”

Edelgard finally came to stand at his side, the sight of her pinching her nose unavoidable. “Hubert. I ran into Ferdinand while on my way to the gardens to meet with Byleth and he was pale as a _ghost_. I’m well aware that he was most recently at tea with _you_. What possibly could have happened?”

“Perhaps he is merely auditioning for the role he will soon come to play.”

She stilled. “I was under the impression that you two had ceased any bickering that was truly hostile, Hubert. Petra was on cooking duty today and she informed me that he never came around for dinner. I know how much you care for him, Hubert. Would you truly rather him suffer than support him in whoever his heart is set on?”

“It is simply inane of him to sit around and squander his life on something so – so unnecessary to the world. He bears no shame for the way he feels even though it has no benefit to life.”

“Love is always a benefit to life. I recall _you_ were the one that sent me glances to spur me on as soon as Byleth returned to us.”

“You’re different,” Hubert huffed, attempting to look away, “you… you deserve all that which brings you joy. Including companionship.”

Edelgard raised an eyebrow, “If that is the case, what of Caspar and Linhardt? They’ve been dating since the academy. Or Petra and Dorothea? Do you not feel the need to chastise them for bearing their hearts?”

“They-” He was right and truly cornered, now. “None of them have ever fallen to hanahaki. Their relationships have never impacted the war effort in the slightest. They’re none of my concern.”

“I fear I must disagree,” Edelgard countered, “for what if Caspar and Linhardt ever broke up? Linhardt puts so much effort into healing Caspar, should they fall out it could cause enough strain that we lose one of our foremost generals. The only reason Linhardt’s likely fighting alongside us at _all_ is for Caspar’s safety, and we need as many healers as we can get. And what if Petra and Dorothea turn sour? It could cause international incident should it end poorly. They are no different from myself and no different from Ferdinand.

“You simply feel this way because you cannot bear to see him suffer,” Edelgard added softly, brushing her fingertips against his gloved knuckles. “There is no reason to scorn him for the same reasons you… _love_ him, Hubert. I pray whatever the issue is can be resolved swiftly.”

Hubert rolled the quill between his fingers, nodding just slightly.

“As you wish, your Majesty.”

***

Though he wrote a letter to apologize, knowing Ferdinand would rather these things in writing, Hubert found he was too much of a coward to approach the man again that day. It hardly helped that Byleth visited him later in the night to report his findings. It was common knowledge that the flower hanahaki manifested as could speak to either the way the victim felt about their beloved, or who the target of their affections was as a person. And with what Byleth had said…

_“Edelweiss signifies a deep devotion.”_

Hubert had needed to escape the ex-professor’s knowing gaze before the man detected how the tips of his ears had begun to burn.

He needed to find Ferdinand.

And it wouldn’t be too hard to find him, at least, Edelgard had given him the tip that he was going to be with Dorothea under Byleth’s request that he not be left alone. Neither of the two were all that quiet, so hearing at least one seemed likely.

And likely it was. Hubert quickly heard Dorothea’s voice coming from the stables, not a surprising location given Ferdinand would be with her. He had expected gossip or laughter, of course, but instead:

“Ferdie, you need to tell him. I know that Hubie’s a tough nut to crack, but he’s – he’s sweet on you! Now, I’m not sure just _what_ you two boys have been up to lately, but you know he’s fond, he’ll come around.”

Ferdinand’s voice was far raspier than it had been the day before, punctuated with weak wheezing that Hubert wished he could erase from memory.

“I… I _thought_ that we had made progress… but clearly, he… he still sees me as some _child_ , Dorothea… My feelings have never, never mattered to one like him… it’s a fantasy to think otherwise. It’s-”

Dorothea gave a small noise of alarm before a loud and violent fit of hoarse coughing filled the air.

“Ferdie, what have we said about negative thinking? Goddess, you’ve gotten so much worse in a day – you need to _do_ something already, at least _try_. If you’re so bent on not following through on surgery, you know I respect your feelings, but… you ought to at least _tell_ him. Take a chance, Ferdie, I know that… listen, Ferdie, you know Edie and the professor won’t just let you go through with this, if you become incapacitated Edie might – she might simply order the surgery to be done anyways.”

Hubert could stand no more of this conversation. He swooped in like a bat, cape fluttering around him, to see Ferdinand leaning against the side of the stables, Dorothea worriedly hovering next to him. He was paler than he had been at tea, his hair back in a haphazard ponytail that seemed more that of a stable hand than a noble. Dorothea looked up like a spooked deer before her gaze hardened, a hand protectively resting on Ferdinand’s shoulder as she stared Hubert down, daring him to admit he had been eavesdropping.

Scattered all around their feet were nearly a dozen edelweiss flowers in full bloom.

“An urgent letter for you,” he offered, holding the parchment out to Ferdinand, who barely looked up from the ground. “It is to be read as soon as you are able.”

When Ferdinand did not make an attempt to grab it, Hubert gently pressed it into one hand, clasping it in both of his own as he attempted to look him in the eyes.

If what he and Dorothea were speaking of was true… If _he_ was the reason behind all of this…

To even _consider_ that Ferdinand could _die_ from feeling so strongly about a man like _him_.

Hand trembling, Ferdinand pulled away slightly, finally daring to meet his eyes.

There were new dark bags under them, and the orange was bleary, as if Ferdinand hadn’t slept well the night before. It wasn’t a good look on him.

“Excuse me,” he breathed, departing as swiftly as he could, leaving a bewildered Dorothea alone with Hubert. It ached to watch him go, but not so much as it did when Dorothea grabbed him by the front of his shirt, voice cold like ice.

“Hubert von Vestra, I swear, if you were eavesdropping on our conversation, I’ll-”

“Dorothea,” he returned, “I assure you, whatever violence you wish to turn upon me will not help any matter.”

That seemed to wound her spirit, for Dorothea deflated, withdrawing into herself. “I don’t know what you said to him yesterday, Hubie, but it’s… really been taking a toll on him. You know our Ferdie, he doesn’t do anything half-way. He can barely speak with how far along he is…”

Hubert closed his eyes to her words, knowing it all to be true. Ferdinand was a blazing fire, one that he had been putting out year after year with his words. Hubert knew he was not a kind man, never meant to be one, yet still…

He was the one that deserved to die over his affections. He would never, ever be good enough for Ferdinand.

But he _was_ trying his best, and hopefully the letter would be a start.

He caught no sign of Ferdinand for the rest of the day, despite all hopes.

***

_Dearest Ferdinand,_

_Though I certainly have not earned it, I do wish for your understanding, if not forgiveness, regarding our conversation before. I needed some time to collect myself and to put my thoughts into words, for being near to you makes my temper flare in ways that you need not witness in this delicate time._

_Know that I’ve simply never had the time or wish to practice prose in order to explain the way I feel. It is not a skill that can be used for the life I lead, so I thought it useless. Perhaps it is not._

_While I still believe in earnest the things that I have said, I must regret the delivery I gave. I admit I find it vexing that you have not simply confessed, given your nature, for there seems to be so little which can hold you back or frighten you off course from a goal, and you’ve never seemed the type to simply lie down and die._

_You mean quite a bit to me, to put my words frankly. I snapped at you because the idea of your death is one I hardly care for; I cannot imagine that there could be any fool that would deny your feelings. You are, after all, far more radiant than the sun, and are the person I hold closest aside from the emperor herself._

_If even I cannot deny your appeal, then certainly there can be no one unwilling to love you in return._

_If you wish not to be brave for the empire any longer, at least attempt this for those of us so lucky to be your companions._

_To your health,_

_Hubert von Vestra_

***

Ferdinand did not sleep that night, instead electing to hold the letter tightly to his breast, unable to stop the flowers from haunting him until he was left heaving and breathless. By now the flowers were more red than white, too deeply stained by his own blood.

It was suffocating. Why it was progressing so quickly now, he wasn’t sure. He had managed to hide the occasional stray petal for the past couple of months, but merely a couple of days finally reunited with everyone was enough to bring him to his death?

Perhaps it was the way Hubert had finally smiled for what seemed to be the first time in five years, with the professor back. Perhaps it was the aching weight of Hubert’s frustrations with him and clear disapproval. Perhaps it was the kindness he finally put into writing.

It was all too much, really. He had staved off the illness for long enough, too afraid that the response would be negative to even consider trying at all. Now, now it was all catching back up to him, and with the way it was progressing he likely wouldn’t last another day.

Maybe two, if he managed to stay away from Hubert, but he never could bring himself to stray too far from the emperor’s vassal.

It was time to confess, then. Between Hubert’s encouragement and Dorothea’s likely true words about Edelgard demanding the surgery should he be in real danger of dying, he was left with no other choice.

By morning, he could no longer speak.

***

Ideally, Hubert would have cornered Ferdinand and coerced him into taking tea, maybe even taking the initiative and simply confessing _himself_ , if it would save Ferdinand the pain of it all.

Instead, he was greeted by Ferdinand outside his room at the first light of dawn, looking even _more_ rumpled than he had the previous day. Before he had the chance to speak, Ferdinand’s hand had grabbed his own, and he was being dragged out of the dorms and into the cold morning air.

It was amazing, really, how Ferdinand’s hand could be so warm despite how weak his grip truly was. If Hubert had wanted to pull away, it would’ve been all too easy, which was somewhat horrifying when compared with just how much strength Ferdinand boasted on the average day.

Before long, Hubert found he was being brought into the greenhouse. It was warmer inside the little building, though Hubert noted with no small alarm that Ferdinand was completely winded, stepping away and bent in half trying to catch his breath. Gently pressing a hand to his back, Hubert was unsurprised to see petals fluttering to the ground with every shaky exhale. He gave Ferdinand a moment before pulling him to stand up straight, turning his chin towards him in one motion while his thumb prodded at his lower lip.

Ignoring the way Ferdinand’s own hands clutched at his arms, trembling, Hubert eased his mouth open, brows furrowing at the sight.

The edelweiss had grown up Ferdinand’s throat. How he hadn’t entirely suffocated yet, Hubert couldn’t tell. There were a thousand things he felt he could say.

He settled on “I trust you read my letter?”

Ferdinand nodded into his palm, though a look of discomfort crossed his features briefly before he stepped away. He crossed over to a small plot of flowers, carefully picking one before turning back to Hubert.

A freshly bloomed red tulip.

When presented to him, Hubert took it carefully, twirling it slightly in his fingers. For a moment, Ferdinand had puffed himself up like usual, chest swelled and head held high as though he was delivering only the most important message.

“I…” A flower? For him? Ferdinand was no Bernadetta, so something like this…

Well, Ferdinand was a man of words, most often. If he could not speak, then perhaps it would make sense to turn to action. Byleth had always said that the best way to express one’s feelings was through flowers…

Hubert faltered a second too long, and Ferdinand’s face began to fall. Hesitantly, he made to leave, but did not make it far before swaying dangerously. It was all Hubert could do to get a firm grip under his bicep before he was also pulled down by Ferdinand’s dead weight. He took one look at the panic and pain in Ferdinand’s eyes and decided he’d had enough of this whole ordeal.

Taking the hand away from his mouth, Hubert brought it to his own, pressing the softest of kisses to Ferdinand’s knuckles.

“I know you’re unlikely to listen to any order, you idle-headed fool, but I implore you to _breathe_. I… accept your affections. I _return_ them. Do not make me repeat myself. Not all of us can be so tenderhearted as you.”

At that Ferdinand smiled with bloody teeth before choking on his next breath. Before long, half a dozen flowers sat in his lap, and his entire body seized in Hubert’s hold. Then-

A gasp, deep and pained, killed the silence, followed by Ferdinand, trembling, slumping against Hubert’s form. It was only the long, shuddering breaths that buried themselves in Hubert’s neck that eased the sense of fear and doubt that came over him.

Any reservations Hubert had regarding his feelings before now were thrown out the window. How could he have any left? He was on his knees in the middle of the greenhouse with Ferdinand practically in his lap after the man had nearly _died_ from how much he loved him.

It was not time to return himself to the elusive nature he prided himself in. Instead, he let his arms wind around the younger man, sheltering him from the rest of the world.

After some time arms wrapped about Hubert’s shoulders, and then Ferdinand was shifting against him, hands moving to grab just behind his ears and around his jaw, and then the taste of iron and something sweeter filled his mouth as Ferdinand’s soft lips pressed against his own thin, chapped ones. In return, he let his hands get lost in the flaming hair before him, tilting Ferdinand’s head so he could capture his mouth more fully, swallowing his moans before Ferdinand pulled back.

He dropped a hand to his chest as he rested his forehead on Hubert’s shoulder, pink flush racing up his cheeks to the tips of his ears, panting.

“My, my apologies, Hubert, for… for my cowardice. You’ve simply seemed so, so unattainable, I feared any of my affections would perhaps scare you off, but then before I knew it the flowers, they… oh, forgive me, I feel quite lightheaded.”

“It’s… It is alright,” Hubert murmured in return, “I’m certain her Majesty will allow you today to recover. I’ll fetch for Linhardt to make certain your health later.”

With the hum Ferdinand answered with, Hubert gently took the tulip he had set aside and wove it behind his ear. It looked better on Ferdinand, after all, the fiery reds and oranges bright against his own dark clothes.

Next, he brushed the dainty flowers from Ferdinand’s lap. The edelweiss tumbled innocently to the floor as if they hadn’t nearly been the cause of death for the man he held close.

Devotion, Byleth had said. A simple word that could easily describe Hubert and Ferdinand both, albeit in mildly different ways. Hubert prided himself, as always, for his devotion to Edelgard, to the empire.

As it turned out, there was still room in whatever was left of his heart to devote himself to one more person.

“Let us take a moment. Catch your breath.”

“With you,” came a small huff, the nearly broken laughter music to Hubert’s ears, “with you, Hubert, I can breathe easy.”

**Author's Note:**

> please please feel free to kudos and comment!!


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